Pressing the panic button

Original Post: Thursday, 3 February 2011

The Oxford English Dictionary defines panic as- a sudden sensation of fear which is so strong as to dominate or prevent reason and logical thinking. It also defines largesse as- generosity in bestowing gifts or money upon others.

Perhaps, for future editions the scholars who decide on such definitions should add a footnote saying- see also; Liverpool Football Club and Kenny Dalglish. For, these are the only words that can be used to describe the recent transfer of Newcastle United striker, Andy Carroll, to the Merseyside club for £35million.

We have become accustomed to the monumental transfer fees and wages that characterise the Premier League but the events of 31 January 2011 were on a different scale. Transfer deadline day is always a day of skulduggery and brinkmanship. Managers and agents making offer and counter-offer trying to secure a players signature, clubs releasing statements insisting, ‘’our man is going nowhere’’, only for that same player to be seen hours later gushing about how happy he is to have secured his ‘dream move’ to a new club that ‘’match my ambitions’’- more often than not using an interpreter.

This was the case for Fernando Torres, whose £50million move to Chelsea from Liverpool led to football phone-in lines encountering more traffic than the M25 during morning rush-hour. The vitriol was flying and the words, ‘’ traitor’’ and ‘’mercenary’’ appeared more times than in a CIA intelligence report. But disgruntled Kopites’ need not have feared. Armed with a £50million wallet, Dalglish rang up Mike Ashley and asked him to name his price for Kevin Nolan’s house-sitter. Ashley can be accused of many things, particularly by the Newcastle supporters, but not being a shrewd business man isn’t one of them. He was never going to turn down an offer of £35million for a player who came through the Newcastle ranks and has had his fair share of off-field troubles in recent times. Carroll, reportedly flew from Newcastle to Merseyside in Ashley’s helicopter to tie up the deal- like Liverpool’s very own ‘Angel of the North’ descending from on high to bring salvation to Anfield.

Welcome to Anfield

Now, I don’t doubt that Carroll is a promising player. His performances in the Premier League so far this season have been impressive scoring 11 goals in the process. And, with the addition of Luis Suarez, many believe that Liverpool will carry more attacking threat once both strikers are fully fit. Only time will tell. But when you consider that six months ago, Barcelona paid one million pound less for Spain’s all-time leading goal-scorer, David Villa; a player that has scored 44 goals in 70 internationals and has scored 20 goals or more for the last nine consecutive seasons- then Liverpool’s outlay on a player who was playing in the Championship last season and has a grand total of 72 minutes of international football experience, borders on the ridiculous. 

‘’Kenny! Fernando’s gone! Where is that big red button that says ‘panic’ on it?!!’’.